I have learnt a lot in the past 3 years of being a mother. The growing pains have been horrifically intense at times, and overwhelmingly beautiful at others. I have learnt about true strength, grit and resilience. I have truly learnt what patience and the pure Grace of God is. I have learned what kindness is and felt and given true unconditional love. I have cried till it hurt; and have laughed until I cried. I have sung thousands of nursery rhymes, over and over, and over again. I have learnt that anything can be turned into a song, or a game, or a challenge that one must overcome; such as putting on left trouser leg on for instance. I have seen so much poo, both literally and metaphorically (the latter because of my circumstance) that I could never have previously imagined. I’ve stood on the cusp of ending it all and I’ve leapt in true genuine faith, constantly reminding myself that God’s got me; that he’s got us.
I have learnt that it’s okay to be soft and vulnerable. It’s okay to get help from others and admit that sometimes you simply need help. I’ve learnt the importance and urgency of forgiving and the need to be forgiven. I have learnt the imperative need for organisation and routine, I once prided myself on being a free spirit but more and more each day, I have seen that motherhood does not permit this so much. I have learnt the true feeling of fear, the fear of potential loss and the animal instinct to protect what is yours at all costs. I have learnt the overwhelming responsibility of being the sole carer of someone else’s life, a life so innocent and totally dependent on you.
I have learnt that there is no limit to my ambition or determination to want to achieve more and more for the sake of someone else.
I have learnt the importance of doing things for yourself, not forgetting the woman you were before you became a mother, and the important fact that that woman needs nourishment and nurturing too.
I have learnt that if you do not stand strong in your beliefs and your ideals as a parent, people will tell you how to be based on their own perceptions of motherhood or single-motherhood.
I have learnt about the power of responsive and conscious parenting, and have learnt the power of the ‘old school black parenting’ style. I have taken and experimented with all and I am looking forward to sharing what I’ve discovered with you guys over the next few months.
I have learnt that it is possible to truly laugh out loud and mean it even when you feel as if the whole universe is against you and your world is crumbling around you.
I have learnt the importance of rest. Mental and physical rest. It truly does make you a better parent.
The biggest lesson I have learnt so far is that nothing really matters in these early stages apart from your presence. Not a fancy house, not a fancy car, not tons of presents, not fancy trips across the globe, but your presence, love, tenderness and happiness.
Your priority is ensuring your baby gets all of the attention and care they need in order to form healthy and happy relationships in the future.
Thanks for reading! It’s taken me ages to write this article. Please leave a comment below to let me know what you have learnt being a parent.